30/8/2004
wats up phil... so long nv update liao... recently a lot of things happened.. so many tat i cud not finish in 1 day... kaoz... bz? no la... slacking all the day... wats this??

phil found a job... long term job.. wat job? decent job... waha... found a few biz partners.. hmm.. some is reali encouraging me... at the same time.. also haf some conflict wif some la... but then heck care la... i know i can do it... sian....

sat nite... he went 2 park near my ah ma home... wif her... b4 that went fer meeting... very gd.. first time do gua sha... now my back all red...waha.. like shit lo... cant go swimming wif buddy.... now at sch do project... liew... did sumthing weird... cos myab confident back fer him and also a chance fer him to prove his ability... chim rgt? sumtimes cant b so details....

time will tell everything... waha... no matter gd or bad... just know he is on the rgt track 2 success in the next 5 years time.. he nid to haf the trust from his parents and also his future partners... its always hard in the start, so he believes that once he committed into tat particular job, not onli he will benefits himselves.. but also his family, and his loves ones beside him... he nid the encouragement here and there... to able to continue the job..

trust is the main thing.... next will b the confident wise.........

phil posted at 3:01 PM.

24/08/2004, 10.34am

regarding yest nite problem... i haf already sort out my mind le... cos this kind of things at times is reali out of control... so i believe in kiping myself bz.... real bz.... and shut my two wives in silence... and everything will b under control... its sounds like avoiding... but ever think of it... when ur so bz wif studies.... will u think of having a relationship? think abt it... this is not avoiding.. this is a solution sumhow fer me...

will i ever fall in love? the ans is a yes... hu dun wish to haf a love 1 by his or her side to care fer him or her when he or she is very down... everyone nid love and companion.. everyone will haf a moment when they r lonely.... im working hard towards gd results... but at the same time... searching fer a lifelong partner at background... making up my mind to drop the emo side of me... im real determined to do it... and i believe i can....

phil posted at 10:35 AM.

23/08/04 22.22pm, monday

so long nv write le.. i kinda confused and depressed wif wat i am facing.... theres nthn to hide.. so i decided to write it here.... i believe they r bound to b sm1 in ur life tat will make an impact no matter its big or small... they r special... mayb ppl will think i very "hua xing" however my ans to that is I DUNT KNOW..... i feel... im still the old EMotional Phil.... i dun wish to b like this... yeah yeah... ppl say its just that i wanted to b a not. They told me" female and male can b very gd friends too."

yeah yeah.. i know that.. wondering if some how... if my heart cant take the pressure? i m already facing a lot of problems.. in my family... studies... friends... and my very own "emotional problem". i believe i did.. improve... at least i know how to control some how.. but some how the more i nv go and achieve wat i wan... the more it came to me.. im not refering to studies of cos..

im refering to "relationship and love" i reali wish this cud b end.. i dun wan.. reali i dun wan... but god always gv me chances.... so many chances.. when i dun wan the chances, meaning the time is always not right.. y? i mean y? its not i dun wan to preserve the chances...

the chances are always ther fer me... whenever i wana grab the chance..... i always failed to win it. y? i wished to know y... pls dun play games wif me animore.. my heart cannot take this... i dun wan to go bonkers and mad over this issue animore....

there are more important things fer me to attend... i wan to concentrate... i wan to b determined to acheive better results in studies.. i wan my father to recover soon... i wan my ah ma to b illness free.. all i wished is not fer myself.. i just wan my family and grandma to be alrgt... is that very hard? i seems cant do anithing u c.... this is my family and grandma... i haf the responsible to do watever i can... yes.. ppl ask me dun think so much...

do they fully understand how i feel? yes they r rgt.... learn to b optimistic is always in my mind.. the things that happened to me everyday is always tests and obstacles... can i take it? i know sumtimes the things i said... will offended ppl or annoyed ppl... i dun mean it... im not in my words... sumtimes i blurped out words b4 i realise i had offended sm1... so i chose to make myself a Lame person...

i hope ppl know im a lame person.. so they will know i din meant it to offended them or watsoever... Life... make me in crossroads... thers r always bound to b lot of obstacles and tests... yesh... i know that... that will make me stronger... i find that... thers no1 in this world understand me.... no1... even my 11 years buddy.... i believe... i understand ppl more than ppl understand me... i dun kw... i tried to confide my problems to ani1.. cos i feel theres nthn to hide... i m opened minded to free my thoughts and feelings... y restricted myself?

thats y i chose to write my feelings out... crossroads.. of cos optimism ppl will choose to move straight.... movin straight... might caused negative setbacks or regrets.. wat if u chose to go back? everyway gt their disadvantage.. i believe im still standing at the middle of the crossroad... finding the way i long to go and free myself from all worries and troubles....

yesh, she held my hand today, shd say... playing wif my fingers.. i mean.. we r onli friends... say frankly i wanted to help her thru her troubles... to ease my stress also... making sm1 smile and happi makes me happi too.. i finalli did make her troubles free fer awhile.. having lost in touch wif her... 4 nearly 1 year.... i found her back... somehow... btw... shes my ex... thou i know she dosen mean anithing when she did those things... it some how distract me...

ppl will say... play wif fingers onli ma.. hold hands onli ma... friends cannot hold hands meh...

i know... this is y ppl say this... when they dun understand how i feel... its sumthing inside me i cant describe in words... i know.... yes i know..... mayb 2ml is the judgement day....

the coldness in my heart... is always freezing me when im alone... y i kip reflect and think? i dun wan to waste my life wifout knowing hows my life and wats my life goin on.....


Ying.... Shal....kam..... xue..... tian.... steph...... thx fer making such a big impact in my life.... u changed me to b more mature... thx.....

phil posted at 10:30 PM.

14/08/2004 saturday..

wife on service.. now so slack like siao... dun feel like doin anithing... kaoz... tired.. slp so much also no use.... do daily ex also no use... liew... wat happen.... haix.. even fav blog also lazy to update... online onli listen to music... haix... life no meaning.... stay optimism? well i do... if not i jump off the building liao.. waha.. madness... wif on service sia.. so long nv get back... actually go toapayoh can get back in 1 hr.. now go tampines... 1 day liao haven get back... liew.. wana transfered mp3 today de leh.. now like plan ruined by the fucking slow damn lousy services... kaoz... wat customers always rgt... rgt ki lan la... sori.. mood reali dampened... hp is my life... my soul.. everything... waha... later haf to go down to ask whether its ok liao a not... haix... hope everything stays gd fer me... :]

2ml man u chelsea at standford bridge... liew.. man u so many key players nv play... damn fuk the olympics la... take ronaldo and heinze... now man u mus use those dumb players like fortune, and brown... wheres... ferdinand... quickly cum back la.. man u nids u... haix.. van the man and saha all out injured... sols.. also... haix... haix... chelsea.. u sucks... i sweared to god u will b trohpyless this season... so wat u r filthy rich??? robben is stupid enuff to choose chelsea and not man u.... u will regret like all the stars hu leave stamford bridge... like banker, fellow sols cty teammate.. gronkjiaer... waha.... all left..zenden also left... god bless chelsea... waha....

mood=> damn fuk up...

phil posted at 2:02 PM.

monday,9/8/04

go to c the Sunday fireworks... reach ther wif my 6 friends... all gals leh... not hao lian la... onli wonder y this week nu ren yuan so gd.... but then friends onli la.... reach ther already pack wif ppl... ma jiam ppl nv c fireworks b4... typical singaporean. bth... lucky gt to c a bit.. if not stand ther fer 2 hrs like a idiot see nthn... waha... after that, go mit old classmates, go watch movie... collecteral r? dun know how to spell... tom cruise the bad guy... Lame but violent... not bad la.. the storyline... worth the 8.5 dolar... after movie... go home lo.... take cab wif tat buddy of mine.. jowin... yeap...

upon alighting while crossing road.. a dog follow me leh.. wah lau... so ke lian... i feel like taking him to my grandma home as im goin ther... but he follow me to an extend... he ran away... sighed... if i gt a dog... i feel so sad sia... if hes mine now... haix...

b4 goin to watch fireworks... xueyo sms me leh... liew... ask me out.. i cant go wif her... sighed... mayb reali no fate ba.. ask her out on the 15th of aug.. cos gt another fireworks display... but she say not free.... sian lo.. waha... but aniway suan le la... no pt thinkin abt it...

sat go mit yingling.... feelings weird weird de... go take contact lens tat time... the ppl ther say "ur gf r?" waha.. then i say no la.. they say ur sis... wah kao.. she look older than me lo.. waha... watever... later go foodcourt eat... she share ice kachang wif me. waha.... first time no stead share food wif gals.. c i so bao shou leh.. kns... end here... today mood...

ok lo...

phil posted at 11:30 PM.

NDP(7/08/2004)1.21am

woo hoo, long weekend... long meh... majiam... like very gd.. but better than nthn... waha.. can go c fireworks wif some long timed nv meet friendZas.... every year ndp since sec 5 gt gf pei... now leh... a loner... waha.. sian la.. gt gf also burden i think... mus improve myself first b4 thinkn abt anithing.... hmm.. today no mood write.. also dun kw wat to write leh... hmm.. end here first ba.. c gt mood then write... sign off....zzZZZzz

today mood=> ok lo... tired but happi at times

phil posted at 1:20 AM.

wah wah wah.. no time write liao today... mus wake up at 5am study fer biz comm.. haven touch sia.. stupid... so hot now.. eerrrr..... sian... end here.. nitez phil...

today mood... not physical tired but emotionally tired... :X

phil posted at 11:59 PM.

Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
If love isn't a game, why are there so many players?
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
You can only go as far as you push!
Actions speak louder than words.
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.
Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.
Life's short.
If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it.
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.
Some people make the world special by just being in it. Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us.
When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.
True friendship never ends.
Friends are forever.
Good friends are like stars....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there. Don't frown, you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
Most people walk in and out of your life, but only friends leave footprints in your heart.
If u love something...let it go. If it comes back to you its yours.... If it doesn't then it never was.
A kiss is just a kiss until u find the one you love.
A hug is just a hug>until its from the one ur thinking of.
A dream is just a dream until u make it come tru. LOVE is just a word until its proven 2 u.
Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of happiness wasted. ____________________________________
To realizeThe value of a sisterAsk someoneWho doesn't have one.
To realizeThe value of ten years:Ask a newlyDivorced couple.
To realizeThe value of four years:Ask a graduate.
To realizeThe value of one year:Ask a student whoHas failed a final exam.
To realizeThe value of nine months:Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize The value of one month:Ask a motherwho has given birth toA premature baby.
To realizeThe value of one week:Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realizeThe value of one hour:Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.
To realizeThe value of one minute:Ask a personWho has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realizeThe value of one-second:Ask a personWho has survived an accident...
To realize The value of one millisecond:Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the OlympicsTime waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.You will treasure it even more whenyou can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend:Lose one.

phil posted at 12:51 AM.